The Bookshelf (V)

book reviews

Michael Jackson’s autobiography gets a re-release, Jasper Fforde takes us on a journey into Jane Eyre, while John Grisham’s latest fails to satisfy

Michael Jackson
Moonwalk
At the top of his career in 1988, Michael Jackson published his autobiography, Moonwalk, both capitalizing on the public interest that had been generated by his music and antics while also getting a chance to offer his own take on all that was being said about him in the tabloids. The book was edited by Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and became a number one bestseller soon after its release. Following his untimely death last year, Moonwalk has been reissued, this time with an introduction by Motown founder Berry Gordy. The book offers an honest, yet somewhat guarded, account of MJ’s life, including memories of his childhood, insight into his battle with his image, as well as a look at his creative process while making Off The Wall, Thriller, and Bad. But here’s the snag: Moonwalk was written before Michael went into seclusion and before the occurrence of many of the incidents that became tabloid fodder, so while some of what he says might’ve been new information in 1988, there isn’t much in the book that will, at this point, come as a revelation and his fans probably won’t find out much about him that they didn’t already know. Yet, since the book does offer a piece of Michael’s thoughts and feelings and a view of his life in his own words, there are still some things that can be read between the lines and that can help give you a better idea of who the person behind the persona really was, because while everything else that has written about him is someone else’s interpretation of his life, this book presents his story the way he wanted to tell it.
***

John Grisham
The Associate
In his latest legal thriller, best selling author John Grisham tells the story of a promising law student Kyle McAvoy who has a secret and is blackmailed into taking a job he doesn’t want, making him a pawn in corporate espionage. Suffering through the perils of being a first-year associate with a huge law firm while being monitored by a shady figure, Kyle must find a way to untangle the mess he’s in. A typical Grisham novel, you’d think, and for most part you’d be right: the writing isn’t bad, the premise is interesting, and the plot has potential. But then we get to the surprise ending: the surprise being that there is no ending. Or at least that’s how it feels. As you read the last page of The Associate, not only are you uncertain about the future of Kyle, but you’re also left wondering, where did the rest of the book go? It’s like someone just told the writer to stop writing, and he simply put his pen down. Which is a shame because the story certainly has potential. Unfortunately, that potential is never fulfilled, and while it will keep you interested, the conclusion is bound to let you down. Even if you don’t consider The Associate a complete disaster (presuming you don’t mind ambiguous endings), the book certainly isn’t at par with John Grisham’s earlier work.
**

Jasper Fforde
The Eyre Affair
Propelled by a very creative premise, Jasper Fforde’s metafiction fantasy novel The Eyre Affair is set in a literature obsessed alternative 1985, and, just as its name would suggest, references the Charlotte Brontë opus Jane Eyre. Published in 2001, the book was the first in the Thursday Next series, which features the adventures of the literary detective as she investigates the theft of manuscripts and strives to protect works of literature from criminals. In The Eyre Affair, after Thursday’s uncle Mycroft invents a Prose Portal machine which allows people to enter works of fiction, Acheron Hades (the story’s villain) gains access to the device and threatens to destroy Jane Eyre, after which Thursday must pursue him into the text and save the book for future generations. Overall the idea of the book is very clever, and the imaginative world built by Fforde is both amusing and creative. Yet somehow the book is less than the sum of its parts, or perhaps it just isn’t for everyone. It is clever, yet lacks the emotional development that was needed for the characters to resonate with the readers, and to some it may even seem contrived. That said, it is easy to understand why this series has been so successful, because the book does show promise for the rest of the series (there have been four sequels to the book so far), and it will definitely strike a chord with literature fans, so if you are into classics (and especially if you enjoy debating topics like Shakespearean authorship) then you might want to give The Eyre Affair a try – it isn’t stellar, but it is quirky and wildly imaginative, and filled with literary allusions that bookworms are likely to enjoy.
***

CLASSIC

P. G. Wodehouse
Jill The Reckless
First published in 1920 under the title The Little Warrior, Jill The Reckless follows the story of Jill Mariner, a spirited young woman engaged to be married to Sir Derek Underhill, but a series of mishaps leave her financially broke. And after her fiancée breaks off the engagement, Jill travels to America and joins the chorus of the musical The Rose of America. In the U.S., she reconnects with her childhood friend Wally Mason, while her good-natured pal Freddie Rooke sets off on an ill-advised mission to patch things up between her and Underhill. In typical Wodehouse style, the story spins around a simple yet complicated plot, and sends the reader on an entertaining roller coaster of comedic complications and amusing results. It’s a fun filled journey that entertains while giving readers a glimpse of the inner working of early 1900s Broadway as the feisty protagonist finds her way through life and learns to deal with all that comes her way. This may be one of the lesser-known novels by the celebrated master of prose, but Jill The Reckless is still a gem, especially for Wodehouse fans, and it is simply a delight to read.
****

- By Sameen Amer

Ink Quarterly - May-Jul, 2010

Covers

cover story

A look at some of the greatest album covers of all time

The album cover has been an important part of popular culture, merging art and music to create some of the world’s most unforgettable images. Awesome cover art and creative album packaging have helped musicians promote their work while giving them an additional medium for conveying their artistic aspirations; yet the medium seems to be on the decline. With the onset of the digital age, as well as artists expending less and less creativity on the album cover (and even the album itself), uninspiring covers featuring run of the mill imagery have become prevalent. This week we reminisce over the art that seems to be fading away, by looking at some of the most memorable, creative, and artistic album covers of all time.

* Memorable

It’s only fitting that some of the greatest albums of all time also came with the greatest album covers!

Abbey Road (1969) and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967) by The Beatles One can include pretty much any of the Beatles album covers here, but these are the two that this section would be absolutely incomplete without:
- Abbey Road (1969): After the group decided to call the album Abbey Road, photographer Iain Macmillan took the iconic photograph that appeared on its cover, and shows George Harrison, Paul McCartney (barefoot and out of step with the others), Ringo Starr, and John Lennon at the zebra crossing on Abbey Road outside the famous Abbey Road Studios, on the 8th of August 1969. The cover has since become one of the most imitated images of all time, and is considered to be the world’s most famous album cover ever; the zebra crossing is now a popular destination for Beatles fans and even has its own live webcam feed (abbeyroad.com/visit), and the Volkswagen Beetle that can be seen next to the zebra crossing in the photo has been on display at the Volkswagen museum in Wolfsburg, Germany.
- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967): The Sgt. Pepper’s cover was originally going to feature a psychedelic painting by The Fool, but art director Robert Fraser convinced the band against it. Instead, a montage of famous people, known as ‘People We Like’, designed by Peter Blake and his wife Jann Haworth and photographed by Michael Cooper in March 1967, adorned the cover of the album. The cover shows the Beatles as the Sgt. Pepper band, surrounded by celebrities chosen by the group, which included Bob Dylan, Marilyn Monroe, Aldous Huxley, Sigmund Freud, Edgar Allan Poe, Karl Marx, Oscar Wilde, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, and Marlon Brando, along with the original Beatles bass player, the late Stuart Sutcliffe. Adolf Hitler, Mahatma Gandhi, and Jesus Christ, were also requested by John Lennon, but ultimately left out. The montage includes 57 life-sized cardboard cut-outs, 9 waxwork models (including figures of the Beatles) loaned from Madame Tussaud’s, a Shirley Temple doll in a “Welcome the Rolling Stones, Good Guys” jumper, a Sgt. Pepper drumskin, a “Beatles” floral arrangement (and another one of a guitar), and several items that belonged to the group members, including small statues and a trophy. The final bill for the cover? £2,868, an estimated 100 times more than the average cost for an album cover in those days!

Nevermind (1991) by Nirvana
When Kurt Cobain’s original idea for the then-little-known band’s sophomore album cover led to images that were either too graphic or too expensive, Geffen Records’ art director Robert Fisher hired photographer Kirk Weddle to work on the cover; he in turn asked his friends Renata and Rick Elden, who agreed to let their three-month-old son be photographed underwater for a fee of $200. The resulting photograph, which shows an infant swimming towards a dollar bill on a fishhook, ended up gracing the cover of Nevermind, which is now owned by more than 26 million people around the world. The Nirvana baby, Spencer Elden, is now 18, and has been an intern at Shepard Fairey’s Obey Giant studio. The cover was famously lampooned by Weird Al Yankovic for his Off the Deep End album, and has also had a few Simpsons parodies (one with Bart swimming after a Krusty Buck, and another with Homer chasing a doughnut!).

Wish You Were Here (1975) and The Dark Side of the Moon (1973) by Pink Floyd
Pink Floyd’s relationship with the design team of Hipgnosis has led to some of the most awesome album covers ever:
- Wish You Were Here (1975): Inspired by the ideas of fake gestures and the fear of getting burned, the album cover shows a man engulfed in flames shaking hands with a man in a business suit. The stuntmen, Ronnie Rondell and Danny Rogers, one of whom was dressed in a fire-retardant suit and protective hood, had to switch positions as the wind was initially blowing in the wrong direction; the image was later reversed. Also, based around the concept of “unfulfilled presence”, Storm Thorgerson concealed the cover in a dark coloured wrap, so that it would, in a way, be “absent”, and a sticker showing two mechanical hands engaged in a handshake, designed by George Hardie, was placed on the opaque sleeve.
- The Dark Side of the Moon (1973): Chosen out of seven designs, Pink Floyd’s magnum opus Dark Side of the Moon’s cover bore George Hardie’s iconic refracting prism; the spectrum of light (which is missing the colour Indigo that would be in a normal prism) continues through to the gatefold where another prism recombines the spectrum. It’s elegance and simplicity has rendered it as timeless and influential as the album itself.

Also…
- London Calling (1979) by The Clash: Paul Simonon smashes his bass in a moment captured by photographer Pennie Smith in September 1979; the typography of the cover, designed by Lowry, pays homage to Elvis Presley’s first album.
- IV (1971) – Led Zeppelin: A simple, yet remarkable, contract between the city and country, highlighting the ensuing change in balance, the cover shows a 19th century rustic oil painting (purchased from an antique shop by Robert Plant), contrasted with a 20th century English urban tower block on the back of the full gatefold album cover. The album also famously included the four symbols on the inner sleeve which represented the four members of the band.
- Relayer (1974) by Yes: The close association between Yes and artist Roger Dean has ensured that the band’s album covers offer striking artwork. The Relayer gatefold, often cited as Roger Dean’s most intriguing work, shows an epic, poetic landscape, which in turn inspired the album’s title. The artwork, originally only slightly larger than the LP jacket, reportedly took the artist about 300 hours to complete.


*Creative

Creativity can take an artist a long way…as long as the UK album charts aren’t their preferred destination…

The Information (2006) by Beck
What do you do if you want no two copies of your album to have the same cover art? Well, if you’re Beck, you issue the album with a blank grid sleeve along with a random set of stickers, so that everyone can make their own album covers (some of which can now be seen at beckgallery.co.uk). And if you’re the U.K. Official Chart Company, you punish the artist for being creative by deeming his album ineligible to enter the UK Albums Chart. Yes, that really is what happened. Its customisable cover concept was seen as a gimmick to increase sales hence giving it an "unfair advantage", and The Information was declared ineligible to chart in the region. Penalization for creativity…and they wonder why the music industry is in shambles!

No Code (1996) by Pearl Jam
Why was the album called No Code? “Because it's full of code,” explained Eddie Vedder. So what better way to present it than through a cover that adds more hidden allusions to the package? Constituting of 144 seemingly random Polaroid photographs, the cover, when viewed from afar, reveals a logo in the form of a triangle with an eyeball in the middle. The package also included sets of replica Polaroids - sets C, O, D and E - with lyrics printed on the back. Any chance Dan Brown might pick up on the Pearl Jam (no) code in his next novel?

Thick as a Brick (1972) by Jethro Tull
This prog rock concept album came with a spoof newspaper cover; the album’s packaging was based on a multi-page local "The St. Cleve Chronicle" newspaper written by Ian Anderson, Jeffrey Hammond, and John Evan, that included stories, competitions, adverts, and lot of inside puns and cleverly hidden continuing jokes, referencing the lyrics throughout the articles, and, according to the band’s website, actually took longer to produce than the music itself!

Also…
- Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space (1997) by Spiritualized: In keeping with its prescription medicine box cover, which itself was an analogy to the album’s title and concept, a special addition of the album came with 12 mini CD’s in blister packs, complete with a dosage instructions leaflet, which specifies that “Spiritualized is used to treat the heart and soul”.
- X&Y (2005) by Coldplay: A combination of colours and blocks, this cover shows a graphical representation of the album’s title X&Y in Baudot code.
- Amnesiac (2001) by Radiohead: The Stanley Donwood and Tchock (pseudonym of Thom Yorke) collaboration has led to some awesome concepts with great execution. A special issue of their 2001 album Amnesiac came in the form of a red hardback book, like the book pictured on the album cover, which featured many pages of art designed by Donwood and Yorke.

*****

The Best Pakistani Album Covers

What are some of the best Pakistani album covers of all time, and why? Here’s what our musicians had to say:

· Junaid Khan (Call): I found the Daur-e-Junoon album cover the best. Even though I found almost all of the Junoon album covers great, but this was the best amongst them all. Why? Well what I believe is that an album actually depicts everything that the artist is about. The cover should be designed in a way that at the first glance a person can predict the genre and style of the band. Junoon was all about live soulful music, and whenever I used to think of Junoon, I used to imagine all those awesome live shows that I’ve gone to and remembered, which were full of energy. The Daur-e-Junoon album cover was a compilation of Junoon's best live performances and when you see the cover, one could easily say what’s inside. The cover had pictures of Junoon performances from venues throughout the world which thrilled a fan like me to a great extent, and once I go through the album cover while listening to the songs, the pictures connect with me in a way that I feel like I am actually seeing the artist live and the overall experience goes beyond imagination. I believe if an artist can connect a listener visually to himself through this, then it has actually succeeded.
· Faiza Mujahid: I pick the album cover of Mekaal Hasan Band’s Saptak, designed by Mehreen Murtaza…the first album which does not impose the band members faces on it and it’s about the music and so it is represented visually rather than the clichéd image of the singers with gel-back hair and lots of makeup! It is, I think, for the first time that even the audience has responded very enthusiastically to the album art and picked up the connection between the image and the sound.
· Goher Mumtaz (Jal): I think Junoon’s Parvaaz had a nice cover. The three things that can have a different effect and make the cover stand out are faces (for me, covers should always be without faces), colours, and theme.
· Atif Aslam: I think all the album covers designed for madam Noor Jahan [were the best]. There was nothing exceptional about them but the masses would react very differently to them because in Pakistan a good album cover just adds a little to the content that any of the big or small artists have to offer. So for the masses it’s different and for a niche it’s completely different whereas it totally depends on the popularity of an artist here in Pakistan how the album is going to work so it’s not very important.
· Nausher Javed (Inteha): I don’t have any particular favourites as far as Pakistani album covers are concerned, as I personally feel that an album cover should depict ‘a band’ or ‘an individual’ rather than a haphazard theme, which usually has always been the case. One should be able to get the message or the idea of the name of the band by just looking at the cover. I hope in the near future artists will also pay particular attention to this part.

- By S.A.

Us Magazine, The News - 14th May, 2010

The dawning of Gunkali

interview

Since the release of their song Bachpan, Kaavish has become a well-known name in the Pakistani music industry. The band has gone on to release songs like Choti Khushiyaan and Tere Pyaar Main and has won over an adoring fan-base in the process. Their long-awaited debut album, Gunkali, was finally released earlier this year, along with the video of their song Moray Sayyaan. This week, Jaffer Zaidi (lead vocalist and pianist) and Maaz Maudood (guitarist and backing vocalist) tell Us about their band's new album and future plans:

Us: How does it feel now that your album Gunkali has finally been released?
Kaavish: Gunkali for us is a seed we had planted a long time ago, and we've seen it grow into something unexpectedly beautiful. Immense hard work, sleepless nights, excited moments, harsh criticism, creative blocks, and a lot of faith has led to the day when this album can be heard outside the studios as well. The feeling is of sheer pride and joy.

Us: Why were there so many delays? And what effect did this have on the band?
Kaavish: We think, through the naked eye, one can present a lot of reasons why the album got delayed, but there's always a reason that is beyond our comprehension. That reason is the 'will of God'. Having said that, we think we couldn't be more satisfied with the time of the release of the album. The delay probably affected us in the best possible ways.

Us: You have included revamped versions of Bachpan and Tere Pyaar Main in the album. Why so?
Kaavish: From the time when these songs came out to the final production of the album, the overall sound changed to quite an extent. For that particular reason, Bachpan and Tere Pyaar Main needed to be revamped in order for them to fit the existing sound of Gunkali.

Us: Describe the process by which you guys come up with a song.
Kaavish: Songs are the best blueprints of human emotions; therefore, their creation depends on events and experiences. For us, making a song has always been a process of revelation, as it surely must be for others.

Us: Is there any song in particular that each of you would consider your favourite from the album?
Kaavish: This is probably the one question no musician has an answer to. But if we are to consider, then:
Jaffer: Moray Sayyaan
Maaz: Dekho

Us: Tell us a bit about your new video Moray Sayyaan.
Kaavish: The video was shot by Sohail Javed, and its concept revolves around a woman's memories of a place, people, events, being ripped from her in the blink of an eye. The cast includes Faisal Qureshi, Samina Peerzada and Yamina Peerzada.

Us: What do you think about the current state of the Pakistani music industry?
Kaavish: In the last year or two, the state of the Pakistani music industry – unfortunately – has been as ironic as Pakistan itself. But that's when ground breaking singles have come out that make you feel like there's still hope. In a nutshell, the line on the graph has a slight tilt upwards.

Us: What does the future hold for Kaavish?
Kaavish: The future is always dependant on how you live in the present. So the question is "what does Kaavish hold for the future?" If, by the grace of God, we can continue working with the purest of intentions, sincerity, honesty, and loyalty towards our music, we as Kaavish can promise something better than before, every time.

Us: Is there any way your fans can reach out to you?
Kaavish: They can visit our website (kaavish.com) and they can join our Facebook page. They can also follow us on Twitter (@kaavishtheband) and subscribe to our YouTube channel (youtube.com/kaavish) in order to stay in touch with all the happenings regarding the band.

Us: Any message for your fans?
Kaavish: Believe that everything you desire, everything you work for, has a time for its manifestation; and that time is the best time. We thank you deeply for the patience, love and endless support you have shown towards our work. God bless!

*****

Gunkali
Kaavish's debut album, Gunkali, features 10 songs, includes new versions of their hits Bachpan and Tere Pyaar Main along with their latest single Moray Sayyan, and the song Koi Hai Toh Sahee which sees Jaffer and Maaz sharing vocals. The album, which takes its name from a raag that represents morning, was recorded at Faisal Rafi's studio (Silent Music), and was produced and mixed by Faisal Rafi. A host of renowned musicians, including Aamir Zaki, Gumby, Shallum Xavier, Omran Shafique, Abbas Premjee, Javed Iqbal, and Rahat Ali, have lent their musical talents to the record which features complete live instrumentation.

Tracklist
1. Chaand Taaray
2. Chaltay Rahein
3. Sun Zaraa
4. Bachpan
5. Tere Pyaar Main
6. Piya Dekho Na
7. Moray Sayyaan
8. Dekho
9. Dil Main Meray
10. Koi Hai Toh Sahee

- By Sameen Amer

Us Magazine, The News - 12 March, 2010

The Jukebox (IV)

album reviews

Adam Lambert’s flamboyance remains in check, Weezer add another CD to the redundant rack, and Puddle of Mudd return with more of the same.

Adam Lambert
For Your Entertainment
Adam Lambert was probably the most entertaining and consistent singer on the latest edition of American Idol. Throughout the season, Adam’s glam rock persona and vocals received much attention and earned him the title of Glambert – he knew what he was all about, and so did we. But on his debut album, the singer’s identity seems muffled. For Your Entertainment sees Adam going for a dance pop sound that’s more Scissor Sisters than Queen, and once you get past the hideous cover art, you’ll find a compilation of songs written and produced by the who’s who of the pop music world; Max Martin, Linda Perry, P!nk, Ryan Tedder, Greg Wells, Lady Gaga, Rivers Cuomo and even Matthew Bellamy have contributed songs to the record… and that, in essence, is what’s wrong with the album – it seems to be the sum of the contributions of other musicians that in no way showcases who Adam Lambert really is. Soaked would be at home on a Muse album, Music Again sounds like The Darkness, Pick U Up would’ve fit on a Weezer set. For the most part, the songs aren’t bad; it’s just that they seem like they’re outtakes from the writers’ own albums and don’t have much to do with Adam Lambert. The fault is not with his singing ability; next time he just needs to pick (or, better still, write) songs that depict his personality and reflect who he really wants to be as a musician.
Highlights: Music Again, Soaked, If I Had You
**

The Avett Brothers
I and Love and You
Led by Seth and Scott Avett, folk-rock group The Avett Brothers have been delivering genre-blending masterpieces for a decade. Their latest effort, I and Love and You, is a pop-rock blend of folk and bluegrass, offering beautiful melodies and heartfelt sentiments delivered by way of poetic lyrics. Accompanied by the 13 chapter video series, the band has put together a seamless set of memorable tunes that effortlessly puts forth the underlying emotions while providing a brilliant showcase to the song-writing. The sound may be more polished than their previous albums, but I and Love and You is still easily one of the best albums of 2009.
Highlights: I and Love and You, The Perfect Space, Kick Drum Heart
****

Kris Allen
Kris Allen
The latest winner of American Idol was the picture perfect underdog who was as likeable as he was harmless. His first album since being crowed the champion is an extension of his Idol performance and is exactly what one would expect; the singer sticks to the niche he carved during his AI tenure, and produces an album that is melodic and pleasant but, at the same time, safe and predictable. To his credit though, Kris shares writing credits on 9 of the 13 tracks on the CD and his vocals add sincerity to the words, and yes, Kris shines on songs like the cover of The Script’s Live Like We’re Dying, but the album eventually falls into the abyss of monotony. Still, unlike Adam’s record, this album has an identity; it might not be a very interesting identity, but it has one nonetheless. The record just needed a little more of songs like the toe-tapping Alright With Me and a lot less filler so that the singer could’ve come up with a set that would’ve been more original and memorable.
Highlights: Live Like We’re Dying, Before We Come Undone, Alright With Me
***

Puddle of Mudd
Volume 4: Songs in the Key of Love & Hate
By the end of the ‘90s, the music world was overflowing with Nirvana clones, shamelessly stealing from Kurt Cobain’s recycle bin to end up atop the modern rock charts. Fast forward a decade and you’ll notice that most of these bands have now faded away, or, even worse, have started sounding like Nickelback. One of the few survivors in the post-grunge genre is Puddle of Mudd, a band that undoubtedly has a very derivative sound, but can still pull it off due to their ability to come up with catchy riffs and solid rock songs. With Volume 4: Songs in the Key of Love & Hate the group sticks to what they know best. Yes it is more of the same, but for post-grunge fans, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. PoM’s rock ability must be obvious to those who remember Come Clean, and while Volume 4 doesn’t equal the strength of their debut (largely because it’s weighted down by utterly juvenile lyrics), this album still hosts some potential winners and is quite worth a listen.
Highlights: Stoned, Keep It Together, Spaceship
***

Weezer
Raditude
Fifteen years after they first appeared on the music landscape, Weezer have gone from being the beloved suppliers of geek rock to makers of unremarkable throwaway electro-pop. Their latest release, Raditude, not only lacks the confessional charm of their earlier work but also features some of their least memorable work to date. The band tries to go for contemporary with the song Can’t Stop Partying which features rapper Lil Wayne, and one would guess they were going for cool with the sitar-driven Love Is The Answer, but both these songs are so unconvincing that it makes one wonder what Weezer is still doing here, and it feels like that’s what the band was wondering too when they made this album. But the saddest thing is that we know this band is capable of so much more; we have their earlier catalogue as proof. For now, Weezer fans, prepare to be disappointed. Everyone else, check out one of their previous albums instead.
Highlights: Trippin’ Down The Freeway, I Don’t Want To Let You Go
**

- By Sameen Amer

Ink Quarterly - Jan-Mar, 2010

The Big Screen (IV)

movie reviews

The world threatens to end, an old man goes off in search of a dream, and a young boy takes us on a journey through his imagination.

2012
Cast: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson
Director: Roland Emmerich
Apocalyptic predictions (or even random apocalyptic theories) are usually known to spawn disaster movies, and in keeping with that tradition, we now have 2012, the story of a group of people struggling for survival as the world comes to an end in accordance with an ancient Mayan prophecy. Throw in an unimpressive script and unconvincing acting to accompany the implausible storyline further marred with lots of clumsy sub-plots, and you end up with a film that instead of encapsulating an epic disaster, itself appears to be one. True, the special effects are impressive (and with a reported $200 million budget, why wouldn’t they be), but ultimately what 2012 comes off as is the summation of all disaster films that have preceded it, carelessly employing borrowed clichés from start to finish. And at a length of two and a half hours, the film is perfect for anyone who wants to have a headache. All in all, good special effects, but too cheesy and unoriginal, and way too long.
**

The Hurt Locker
Cast: Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
A war thriller that promises to keep you riveted, The Hurt Locker is a poignant tale of a bomb disposal unit as they move through life-threatening situations during the Iraq war. Powered by a compelling script and some very solid acting performances (especially by Jeremy Renner), the film presents an account of war that is both chilling and gripping, and embeds the viewer with the squad as its members struggle with tensions from without and within, presenting a vivid picture of military conflict and what it entails… and manages to do all of this on a very limited budget. And if all this praise makes it sound like The Hurt Locker was one of the best films of 2009, then that’s because it really was.
*****

Up
Voice cast: Edward Asner, Jordan Nagai, Christopher Plummer, Bob Peterson
Director: Pete Docter, Bob Peterson (co-director)
To fulfil a promise he made when he was young, 78-year-old widower Carl Fredrickson (voiced by Ed Asner) sets off in search of Paradise Falls by tying thousands of balloons to his home, only to discover that he has inadvertently brought along a stowaway – an eight-year-old Junior Wilderness Explorer, Russell (Jordan Nagai). Together they set off on a journey that’s uplifting, heartbreaking, joyous, adventurous, and, all in all, a bittersweet cocktail of love, loss, and loneliness, that’ll make you laugh, tear up, and thoroughly enjoy the ride as the two unlikely companions, along with the help of a dog named Dug (Bob Peterson), try to fulfil their dreams, while providing us with yet another testament of Pixar’s consistent awesomeness. By far the best animated film of the year, Up is a must watch for both young and old.
****

Where The Wild Things Are
Cast: Max Records, Catherine Keener, Mark Ruffalo; Voice cast: James Gandolfini, Lauren Ambrose, Chris Cooper, Paul Dano, Catherine O'Hara, Forest Whitaker
Director: Spike Jonze
Based on the 1963 children’s book by Maurice Sendak, Where The Wild Things Are is the story of a boy named Max (played by Max Records) who escapes into the world of his imagination to deal with his loneliness and frustration. The result is a fascinating look at childhood as Max journey through a make believe world, and a brilliant exploration of emotions like anger, sadness, and loneliness. The acting is spot on – Max Records is brilliant as the story’s protagonist – and the creatures that inhabit Max’s imagination are both creative and telling. The film is, however, much more abstract than something like Bridge to Terabithia, and whether someone finds that fascinating or confusing will vary from person to person.
****

Year One
Cast: Jack Black, Michael Cera
Director: Harold Ramis
In a film that is even worse than its premise would suggest, two prehistoric hunters (Jack Black and Michael Cera) wander through the ancient world, meeting biblical characters like Cain and Abel, Isaac, Abraham, and Adam and Eve along the way. The attempts at humour are embarrassing rather than funny; the film reverts to juvenile humour, and no tacky joke or gag has been left out. Jack Black’s presence in the film makes complete sense, but it’s sad to see Michael Cera in this train-wreck, and it’s downright disappointing that Harold Ramis and Judd Apatow would produce something so dreary. In short, avoiding Year One might be a good plan, unless you’re curious about just how bad it gets, in which case feel free to watch it, but don’t say we didn’t warn you!
*

- By Sameen Amer

Ink Quarterly, Jan-Mar '10

Holmes Sweet Holmes

movie review

Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong
Director: Guy Ritchie

Just so I'd have someone to discuss the film with, I bugged a friend into watching the new Sherlock Holmes flick that was released late last month, asking him to tell me what he thought about it, start to finish… and that's exactly what he did: "What the hell," he messaged me as the film began, "he has martial arts skills. This can't be good!", eventually summing up the movie as "Star Wars meets Van Damme meets Sherlock Holmes". I respect his assessment, of course, but I'd have to disagree; I found it to be more Batman and Robin meets Scooby Doo by way of Dan Brown. If nothing else, that combination suggests big bucks at the box office, but the response from viewers, as you'd probably guess, has been mixed.

In his 2009 escapade, Mr. Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) finds himself on a mission to stop black-magic practitioner Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) as he plans to take over England and then the entire world, while suffering from separation anxiety as Dr. Watson (Jude Law) plans to marry and settle down. But throughout the two hours of the film that ensues, it becomes more than clear that the beloved detective has been reimagined as an action hero. Yes, the newfangled Holmes is still smitten with Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) and yes, he plays the violin and smokes a pipe (the deerstalker has been replaced by a beat-up fedora), but not only does he posses the fighting skills of Conan Doyle's Holmes, he seems to spend more time exchanging punches than he does making deductions. While action fans might find this change appealing, it may not go down well with those who thought of Sherlock Holmes as someone who is more likely to use brains over brawn, and purists, especially, could be miffed.

So that might explain why Guy Ritchie's take on Sherlock Holmes has received comments as varied as "no wonder Madonna left him" to "it will make Madonna jealous". From a neutral viewpoint that does not take the former Mrs. Ritchie into consideration, though, the film is neither an unmitigated disaster, nor is it anything akin to a masterpiece. This simply is a revisionist view of a classic character, and what you make of it will largely come down to you, the viewer. But no matter which of the two factions you fall into, the thing you are still likely to enjoy about the movie is watching Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law in action, both of whom deserve an A+ for acting. Overall, though, the film seems longer than it needed to be and it could've certainly done with a better storyline. Oh and my friend thinks it didn't seem to have anything to do with Sherlock Holmes other than the name. "Why do they always have to make movies to fit the American audience?," he typed in frustration. Elementary, my dear comrade; it's all about the money.

- By Sam

Us Magazine, The News - 22 January, 2010

MMIX - and that's the way it was

cover story



Just like the year that preceded it, 2009 was a year that did not like human beings very much. Everything from the world's economy to people's morals seemed to be on the decline, and even microscopic virulent creatures appeared to be conspiring against us. But throughout the resulting mishmash, there were certain things that kept coming up over and over again – some rightfully so as they genuinely warranted our attention, and others that simply refused to go away, despite the fact that we really wanted them to. So, in an effort to help us understand what this year was all about, here is a look at the people and events that we could not escape hearing about during 2009:

Barack Obama
"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future." - Norwegian Nobel Committee
The world enthusiastically welcomed the government change in the U.S. as Barack Obama became the first African American President of the United States of America, taking the oath of office in an inauguration ceremony watched by millions of international viewers. Ever since, and despite the fall in his ratings, the world has been captivated by all things Obama. Whether he is attending an annual meeting of people who annually meet, making teleprompter-assisted speeches about all the things he plans to do in the future, or, umm, killing a fly, none of his actions fail to make headlines; his every move is scrutinised, every word analysed. Even his family can't escape the spotlight – from first lady Michelle Obama's fashion sense, to the choice of the family's new puppy, Bo (as had been promised to daughters Malia and Sasha during the victory speech), no topic has been left undiscussed. Such is the degree of the world's infatuation with the new U.S. President that he has even been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize (despite still overseeing two wars); the Nobel Committee bestowed this honour on him for his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples", presumably including his efforts to engage on a global platform with multiple international visits, as well as plans to close the Guantanamo Bay detention camp and aim to withdraw all U.S. troops from Iraq by the end of 2011.

Swat and Waziristan Operations
"Terror is an idea. You don't fight an idea with a conventional army. To win a war on terror you have to win the hearts and minds of people." - Imran Khan (on Enough Rope with Andrew Denton)
The U.S. might have replaced the term "War on Terror" with the phrase "Overseas Contingency Operation", but that didn't change the fact that the underlying problem itself remains unaffected. While the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq still continue, the issue unfortunately spilled over into our country, with north-western Pakistan ending up at the forefront. Army operations against the insurgents focused on Swat and South Waziristan, displacing nearly two million people in the NWFP; the IDPs figure still remains at around one million according to the Internally Displacement Monitoring Centre. And in retaliation, the Taliban have started a string of militant attacks across Pakistan, killing hundreds of people across the country.

H1N1
"Despite the hysteria, the risk to Britons' health is tiny – but that news won't sell papers or drugs, or justify the WHO's budget." - Simon Jenkins, The Guardian
As the H1N1 influenza virus made its presence known, concerns about its virulence started to increase, followed by the media's completely disproportionate reaction that made it seem like the virus was going to tear a hole in the fabric of space and time, and signalled the end of all life in the universe. Panic evidently ensued, further fuelled by several misconceptions and misinformation, but then someone noticed that the H1N1 casualty rate was only a small fraction of the annual number of deaths from seasonal flu – worldwide more than 208 countries and territories reported "laboratory confirmed cases of pandemic influenza H1N1 2009" (according to the World Health Organization), and the mortality rate from the virus has been around 0.026% (according to a report in the British Medical Journal). So, unless the virus makes a mutated comeback seeking revenge over these findings, chances are that humankind will endure. As for the media, they are now in search of something else to panic about.

Twitter
"I tweet so much, sometimes I annoy myself." - Demi Lovato (@ddlovato)
A few years ago, a bunch of Californians – co-founders Jack Dorsey and Biz Stone in particular – decided the world was in need of another blogging service, only this one would limit the length of updates to 140 characters and basically restrict the updates in every possible way. In short, they decided to take the status message idea and run with it, and so in 2006, Twitter was born: a micro-blogging service that merges two recent fads – texting and social networking. Within a year of its launch, the service had started to gain popularity, but it really started to gain momentum last year, and then into this year, powered by the presence of high-profile personalities and being embraced by celebrities (including actor Ashton Kutcher's much publicized bid to become the first user to amass a million followers) and the media (to the point where it seems like CNN might have sold itself to Twitter). And now that we can all find out what Calvin Harris just had for dinner, all is right with the world. Except that it's not, and that is where Twitter surprisingly comes in, yet again. The website has actually helped by serving as a platform to rally against political and social issues (including the Iranian presidential election protests), and even brought global attention to issues that might've otherwise gone unnoticed.

Pakistani Judiciary and NRO
"And justice for some."
Politics, as usual, dominated global news throughout the year – the Iran and Afghanistan elections, North Korea's nuclear tests, U.S. health care reforms…the talking heads never ran out of things to talk about. Meanwhile, in the little part of the world that we like to call home, Pakistanis were on a mission to fulfil last year's mission – the reinstatement of the judiciary, and this time their efforts yielded success. In the midst of a long march, the government finally announced that the deposed judges would be reinstated and Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry would be restored as the Chief Justice of Pakistan. It might be interesting to note that it is quite possible that we've heard the word "judiciary" more times since last year than we had in the rest of our lives put together; now if everyone starts chanting the word "electricity", then maybe…
Anyway, the next topic on our political issues list was the NRO – the National Reconciliation Ordinance that was issued in 2007 by the then President Pervez Musharraf. The Ordinance was finally declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court this month, and leaves current President Asif Ali Zardari in hot water. Make sure you stay tuned for the next episode of our exciting political reality series Deal or No Deal.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
"But this was no dream, and, unlike the nightmare, I wasn't running for my life; I was racing to save something infinitely more precious." – New Moon
It's plain to see that Stephenie Meyer has hit the jackpot with the Twilight series. It's one big star-crossed love story, featuring a protagonist who seems to have traded rationality for obsession. Plus it features vampires and werewolves, therefore it must be amazing. So, following in the path of the novels that engrossed a whole generation of teenage girls, the movies too are offering an entertaining way to waste a few hours on an idle weekend evening. As the latest The Twilight Saga: New Moon was to be released in November, the year round anticipation by its crazed fans made it an Internet conversation and search staple throughout the year (it was the second most searched term of the year according to Yahoo!). With its release, the second film in the franchise that has propelled Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner to stardom, broke box-office records, despite being derided by movie critics, and added even more hype to a phenomenon that was hard to ignore in the first place. Yet, despite its being incessantly mentioned on the Internet, television and in magazines, New Moon is the sixth highest grossing film of 2009; the year's top five most successful films (as of the writing of these words) are: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2012, and Up.

Susan Boyle
"Mediocrity at its finest."
In an industry ruled by talent-challenged pop goddesses content with using raunchiness to sell records comes the latest annual media-hyped moneymaking counter-expectations scam from Simon Cowell: Susan Boyle! The Scottish singer became an overnight global sensation after appearing on Britain's Got Talent, despite (or perhaps because of) her homely appearance, much like Paul Potts before her, resulting in her BGT clip on YouTube getting nearly 2.5 million views in the first 72 hours (it went on to get nearly 120 million hits during 2009, becoming YouTube's most watched video of the year). By the finale, though, the audience had presumably moved on; Susan lost to dance troupe Diversity. But her ugly-duckling story was far from over; a hospital stay and a makeover later, the singer released her debut album I Dreamed a Dream, which, according to the record-tracking folks, has sold a hellovalotov copies, despite boring critics to sleep.

2009 ICC World Twenty20
"It won't be a disaster even if we exit before the Super Eights. It would be sad if we don't make it, but I have never attached too much importance to Twenty20 cricket, as it is fun cricket." - Younis Khan, a few days before Pakistan won the T20 tournament.
I'll be the first to concede that people in 90% of the world's countries probably have no idea what T20 even stands for, and the majority of the remaining 10% aren't willing to show more than a cursory interest in this cricketing format. But as soon as your team actually wins something, all such considerations go out the window, replaced by irrational jubilant euphoria. So pardon me for mentioning something here that clearly wasn't one of the most talked about topics of this or any other year, but how could I not? We won something. We actually won something, and… wait, it's unimportant, just-for-fun cricket? Never mind then. :(

Global Economy
"The story of the year was a weak economy that could have been much, much weaker." - TIME magazine
A handful of economists had been trying to raise concerns about this for years, but apparently their warnings weren't followed by enough exclamation points. And so last year, the effect of the reckless lending practices led to several issues that needed to be translated from economic English into human English before anyone could make head or tail of them. The result was an outbreak of economic crises, sending the global economy into a financial tailspin. Companies failed, jobs were lost, inflation reached historic levels. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that the economy became one of the most talked about subjects around the world. As the year draws to a close, the world seems to be coming out of its financial hangover, following bailouts of failing businesses and stimulus plans to combat the economic downturn, and according to analysts, global economic collapse has been averted. *confetti toss*

Michael Jackson
"Ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just want to say that I love him... so much" - Paris Katherine Jackson
There was no bigger news this year than the death of Michael Jackson. The biggest name in the world of music forever changed the entertainment industry, and despite all his problems and dysfunctions, remained a pop favourite. As the news of his death emerged, MJ's fans mourned his talents, but sadly the rumour mills started to spin out of control, fuelled by tabloids hoping to (as usual) cash in on someone else's misfortunes, and even further by the public's unfortunate tendency to further propagate every misinformed detail. A lot of ink and bandwidth was wasted on farfetched untruths and half-truths about his personal life and children. But thankfully there were many who chose to ignore the rumours, focus on the talent, and honour his musical excellence. An estimated worldwide audience of nearly one billion tuned in to watch MJ's memorial service, and his film This Is It became the most successful documentary and concert movie of all time.

Other famous people who passed away during the year include:

• Adam Michael Goldstein, a.k.a. DJ AM (36) – musician, former member of Crazy Town.
• Corazon Aquino (76) – politician, 11th President of the Philippines, first woman to hold the office.
• David Carradine (72) – actor, starred in the '70s television series Kung Fu and the Kill Bill movies.
• Farrah Leni Fawcett (62) – actress, best known for her role as Jill Munroe in Charlie's Angels and for her famous hairstyle.
• Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy (77) – politician, long serving U.S. senator, youngest brother of John F. Kennedy and Senator Robert F. Kennedy.
• Eunice Kennedy Shriver (88) – sister of Ted Kennedy, founded the movement that became the Special Olympics.
• Jade Cerisa Lorraine Goody (27) – British reality TV celebrity.
• Les Paul (94) – American guitarist and pioneer electric guitar developer.
• Natasha Richardson (45) – British actress, daughter of actress Vanessa Redgrave and director/producer Tony Richardson, and wife of Irish actor Liam Neeson.
• Patrick Wayne Swayze (57) – actor, famous for his performance in the film Dirty Dancing.
• Rob Gauntlet (21) – adventurer and mountaineer, youngest Briton to climb Mount Everest.
• Robert Enke (32) – German football goalkeeper.
• Stephen Patrick David Gately (33) – singer, member of Irish band Boyzone.
• Walter Leland Cronkite, Jr. (92) – broadcast journalist, known as "the most trusted man in America", ended each of his CBS Evening News broadcasts with the phrase "...and that's the way it is" followed by the date.

*****

The Year In Weird

While most of what was poured onto the pages of newspapers wasn't particularly strange or unusual, there were quite a few incidents this year that added a sprinkle of weird to 2009:

• Balloon Boy: People all over the world watched as a runaway balloon supposedly carrying a six-year-old child, Falcon Heene, floated across the sky of Colorado. The home-made balloon finally landed many hours later, only to reveal that Falcon was never in the balloon, and the incident was just a publicity stunt by the Heene family to help market them for a reality show; they are now facing several felony charges.
• White House party crashers: Another aspiring reality TV couple attended the White House state dinner for Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, despite the fact that they lacked an invitation. And when did the security detail find out about their blunder? After the gatecrashers boldly posted pictures from the event on their Facebook page. Best security service ever!
• Octomom: An American woman, Nadya Suleman, gives birth to the first set of surviving octuplets; only, she has no job, no income, and is already the single mother of six other young children! The world shakes its head in disapproval, then snuggles in front of the tele to watch her reality special, Octo-Mom: The Incredible Unseen Footage, and after that goes off in search of some brain bleach.
• Kanye West's outburst: Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift's Best Female Video award acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, implying that the award should've gone to Beyoncé instead of Taylor. "If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all," everyone told him in reply. We haven't heard from him since.
• Tiger Woods: The world's best-known golfer crashed his car into a tree in front of his house, and this incident somehow unravelled into a story of infidelity and deceit that leaves the athlete's personal life ruined and reputation shattered. Things don't get any stranger than that, do they? Or actually they do…
• 2009 ICC World Twenty20 tournament: Yes, we won the T20 championship. We really did. How strange is that?!!

- By S.A.

Us Magazine, The News - 25 December, 2009