The Twenty Tens

cover story

One step forward, two steps back! Here’s a look at the adventures of humankind in the second decade of the twenty-first century:

Politics

Tabdeeli was in the air, but change didn’t always live up to its potential. Political movements against authoritarianism and corruption resulted in the downfall of leaders but did little to fix regional or global issues. Arab Spring turned to Arab Winter. Unrest became commonplace. Elections brought surprising people to power – a reality TV personality unexpectedly became the leader of one of the most powerful countries in the world; a former cricketer took the reins of our own democracy.

Longstanding regional conflicts remained unresolved. A referendum caused a curious amount of kerfuffle in the European Union. Whistleblowers and leaks unveiled the wrongdoings of governments, politicians, and businesses. North Korea expanded its nuclear capabilities. China rose in power and prominence, while its leader had a meltdown every time someone compared him to Winnie the Pooh.

The beast of terrorism affected almost all corners of the globe. The rise of ISIS opened a whole new can of worms, while Al Qaeda’s infamous leader met his end in a U.S. raid in Abbottabad.

Society

Socio-political polarization increased as people seemed more interested in building walls instead of bridges in the 2010s.

Few topics proved to be as divisive as illegal immigration. The migrant crisis raised concerns for those who were fleeing strife, but the way we chose to deal with the displaced didn’t always reflect positively on us as a species.

Time and again the world also got a reminder that we were failing those around us who were suffering from mental health issues. The deaths of people like Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, Anthony Bourdain, and Robin Williams highlighted that when it comes to dealing with mental health problems, we as a society still have a long way to go. Issues related to drugs and alcohol abuse also stole the likes of Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, and Mac Miller from the world, as well as countless other people whose names we may not know but whose deaths were just as tragic and unnecessary. 

But don’t despair for humankind just yet, because we did make several strides in the right direction as well. We stood up against the one percent as we faced matters like economic inequality and rising inflation. We tried to improve conditions for so many groups often considered powerless. We fought for women’s rights and helped them bring down abusers. And we were blessed to have beacons of light like Abdul Sattar Edhi guiding our way. 

Technology

It was a decade defined, shaped, and reshape by technology. Tech made a huge impact on all facets of our lives. People may not have been getting smarter, but devices sure were. Smart technology – phones, tablets, watches, televisions, glasses – took over the world and changed the way we interacted with people, consumed information, and performed various everyday activities. Apple was a major player in these developments, even after the death of Steve Jobs, who was one of the main forces early on behind the popularization of smartphones and tablets.

The growing prominence of social media gave celebrities yet another way to peddle their latest products while bombarding us with selfies, and gave teenagers yet another way to develop an inferiority complex. The socials also played a role in everything from the propagation of fake news to helping socio-political movements gather momentum. Also, we always knew what everyone was having for lunch so that was super helpful.

The emergence of streaming platforms changed the way we consumed entertainment. Cord cutters said goodbye to cable and embraced streamers. Music, movies, television series … everything was available at the click of a button or touch of a screen.

Cryptocurrencies gained popularity as digital assets. Online shopping replaced many a trip to the store. Amazon became an e-commerce giant and Jeff Bezos became a bazillionaire. (Alexa, remind Bezos to treat his workers better.)

Environment

Extinctions of flora and fauna, increasing pollution, toxic smog, widespread bushfires … 2010s clearly didn’t go too well for poor old Earth. Upon realizing that we were the villains in the story of our planet, we did try to make some amends, although we could have done a lot more had we not wasted a stupid amount of time debating whether climate change was real.

Music

Who run the world? Girls, obviously. Just ask Beyoncé. Female artists ruled the decade, especially its first half, with the likes of Queen Bey (who released two universally praised albums and impressed with her historic Beychella performance) and Adele (who won acclaim with two of the decade’s best selling albums) making a sizable impact. Also, Rihanna and Katy Perry perfected the art of making chart-toppers, Taylor Swift dominated the zeitgeist with her polarizing antics, while pop newcomer Ariana Grande ended up becoming the queen of streaming.

Several lads, too, saw much success in the 2010s. Few artists could rival the popularity of the ubiquitous Drake, who became the most streamed artist of the decade. Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran built huge fanbases, One Direction turned into a phenomenon, and Kanye West stayed in the limelight, both for his music and behaviour.

It was a decade dominated by R&B and hip hop, but the proliferation of streaming made it easy for fans of everything from indie to experimental music to discover and listen to artists of their preference. The Internet also turned tunes like ‘Gangnam Style’, ‘Despacito’, and even ‘Baby Shark’ (doo doo doo doo doo doo … and good luck getting that out of your head now!) into global hits. Also, K-pop was suddenly huge for some reason.

Here at home, recycled music was in vogue via Coke Studio while newer artists got the chance to reach an audience via online platforms.

Movies

Superheroes conquered the cinematic world as Marvel created the most successful franchise in movie history. No one could compete with the might of the Avengers who reigned supreme for the entire decade. The escapades of Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, and co. enthralled movie enthusiasts, and Endgame, the climactic offering of the Infinity Saga, became the highest grossing film of all time, earning a mindboggling sum of over US$2.7 billion. The success of the series also helped make Samuel L. Jackson and Scarlett Johansson the highest grossing actor and actress respectively. MCU also trumped DCEU, although the latter did find success with some of its offerings.

Disney dominated the decade, making a killing at the box office with franchises like the Avengers and Star Wars, as well as a slew of adaptations, remakes, and reboots. 

3D gained popularity, as did streaming, with Netflix releasing some terrific – and some not-so-terrific – films.

Pakistani cinema also churned out a number of movies, but none gained global traction, although Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy’s documentary work did earn her much acclaim abroad. The most prominent local movie of the decade was Nadeem Baig’s Jawani Phir Nahi Ani 2 (2018) which broke all-time earnings records. 

Television

The Golden Age of Television was upon us, not only with the release of terrific series like the incomparable Breaking Bad and the immensely popular Game of Thrones, but with the expansion of streaming services which allowed for the creation of complex, terrific content while making entertainment available to a global audience. Hulu and Amazon Video had their share of successes, but Netflix was the undisputed king of streaming, thanks to its vast library as well as acclaimed original offerings like House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and Stranger Things.

Pakistan’s biggest international success in television was the animated Burka Avenger, which earned a Peabody Award as well as an International Emmy nomination and was also dubbed in various languages and aired in other countries. And our TV (melo)dramas continued to resonate with the local audience.

Books

The most prominent books of the 2010s were – unsettlingly – the three Fifty Shades of Grey instalments, which proved, once and for all, that humans are a truly disturbing species. E. L. James was one of the many female authors – including Suzanne Collins, Kathryn Stockett, Paula Hawkins, Gillian Flynn, and Veronica Roth – who were responsible for some of the most-read novels of the decade.

Pakistani author Mohsin Hamid continued to be one of the most prominent novelists of the country with the publication of How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia (2013) and Exit West (2017).

While fiction still accounted for the most successful books of the last ten years, nonfiction did gain more popularity. Memoirs – like Malala Yousafzai’s I Am Malala, written with Christina Lamb, which was lauded in the West but proved more controversial back home, and Michelle Obama’s Becoming (2018) – were widely read, as were pop science books by the likes of Yuval Noah Harari and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Sports

Several scandals hit the sporting world in the 2010s. FIFA dealt with bribery allegations. Lance Armstrong fell from grace when he was stripped of all his achievements for using performance-enhancing drugs over the course of his career. Russia was in the news an awful lot primarily for two things: election meddling and doping; so this was clearly a great decade for them.

The sporting world also saw remarkable individuals wowing us with their remarkable skills and feats. The likes of Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Novak Djokovic ruled men’s tennis; Serena Williams excelled in the women’s game. Football players like Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo were assets for their respective teams. And Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps just made the rest of us wonder if we are even the same species as they are, because if so, then how depressingly useless are we in comparison?

Also, lots of different countries won lots of different Olympic medals in lots of different sports. Pakistan obviously wasn’t among them. 

As we enter the next decade, here’s hoping that fidget spinners aren’t the only thing we leave behind in the 2010s, and that menaces like intolerance, violence, bigotry, and the Kardashians don’t follow us into the 2020s; we’d certainly be better off without them.

- Sameen Amer

Us Magazine, The News International - 10th January, 2020

In the picture: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and Cats

movie reviews

The Rise of Skywalker relies heavily on nostalgia; Cats is an uncanny valley monstrosity

Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker

Starring: Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Anthony Daniels, Naomi Ackie, Domhnall Gleeson, Richard E. Grant, Lupita Nyong'o, Keri Russell, Joonas Suotamo, Kelly Marie Tran, Ian McDiarmid, and Billy Dee Williams.

Directed by: J. J. Abrams

Tagline: No one’s ever really gone.

The Skywalker Saga comes to an end, nearly 42 years after it began, with the ninth and final episode in the main Star Wars series.

The Rise of Skywalker banks on franchise nostalgia for a finale designed to please fans while playing it safe and suffering, perhaps, as a consequence.

The film begins with the revelation that Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) somehow survived the events of Return of the Jedi (1983) – presumably by jumping through a convenient loophole – and has now assembled a fleet of Star Destroyers to decimate the Resistance and establish a Final Order. 

Rey (Daisy Ridley) – who has been training under the watchful eye of General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher) – joins defected stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega) and commander Poe (Oscar Isaac) as well as Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo), BB-8, and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels), to find and stop Palpatine while continuing her tussle with Kylo Ren (Adam Driver).

Clashes ensue, in one form or another, for much of the film. But everything ends up feeling rushed, even though the movie has a nearly two and a half hour running time to handle all its storylines. There are parts that could have been written and presented more deftly, and unnecessary arcs – like C-3PO’s Sith text issues, for instance – that could have been exorcised altogether without losing anything from the story.

Also, for a film with this much action and destruction, The Rise of Skywalker is oddly vacant and short on excitement and poignancy. The climactic battle isn’t as edge-of-the-seat exciting as it should be, while the rest of the proceeds lack impact, possibly because they lack permanence; several times the film presents a touching or powerful moment, and then, a few minutes later, promptly undoes that development.

J. J. Abrams mostly chooses to bask in throwback nostalgia and brings back familiar faces without managing to do anything particularly interesting along the way. His competent but risk-averse approach keeps the film from going in an inventive direction.

There are moments that feel contrived, and the script’s sharpness is often lacking, as is character development for intriguing players like Finn who aren’t used to their full potential. Carrie Fisher’s parts – put together using unseen footage fragments – leave you wishing we could have seen the movie that would’ve been made if she had still been alive. The choice of primary antagonist also has a significant impact on the rest of the series, and not necessarily in a positive way.

That said, there is fun to be had in Episode IX, and there are many elements of this action-packed finale that fans will enjoy. But the sequel trilogy, on the whole, feels a bit mismanaged. The Rise of Skywalker ultimately leaves you with the feeling that things might have been more consistent and powerful if the three films were better planned, helmed by one filmmaker, and managed to strike a finer balance between creativity and fan service.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

*****

Cats

Starring: James Corden, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, and Francesca Hayward

Directed by: Tom Hooper

Tagline: You will believe.

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s long-running stage musical Cats makes its way to the big screen in the form of a bizarrely poor film, the pure awfulness of which simply boggles the mind.

The musical basically shows anthropomorphic cats – or what are supposed to be cats but rather look like creepy pointy-eared humanoid extra-terrestrials – auditioning to be picked for the chance to … die and be reincarnated, I guess? 

The plot – or what passes for a plot here – finds the Jellicle cats tribe introducing themselves via song and dance in the annual Jellicle Ball, hoping that their leader Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench) will choose them as the one who gets to go to Heaviside Layer and be granted a new life, while the villainous Macavity (Idris Elba) plans to kidnap the other contestants so that he can win by default.

What should be a delightfully quirky romp quickly turns into a nightmareish fever dream instead. The CGI descends to the depths of the uncanny valley. The (almost non-existent) story is as incoherent as it is bonkers. The songs are unmemorable, the dance sequences badly shot. Cats may work on stage (although based on this cinematic atrocity, it’s hard to tell why the musical has been so popular), but onscreen, the whole project feels like a giant misuse of T. S. Eliot’s whimsical poetry. 

The cast seems to comprise of actors who can’t sing and singers who can’t act. Stars are crammed into the film for no real reason (other than marketing?), including a glorified cameo by Taylor Swift (in a brief appearance as Bombalurina), who makes zero impact with a performance that would have gone unnoticed were it not for her fame. Rebel Wilson (who plays the lazy Jennyanydots) gets what is possibly the most poorly conceived sequence of the film. Judi Dench’s monologue at the end is bewildering. Meanwhile the overwrought Jennifer Hudson (who plays the ostracised Grizabella) seems to be in an entirely different movie altogether.

Tom Hopper (who previously did an uneven job with Les Misérables) has basically delivered a case study in how not to make a movie. The fact that this CGI-drenched live-action version was made altogether is baffling in itself, seeing how the material is clearly better suited for an Aristocats-style animated adaptation. And the fact that they managed to mess up literally every aspect of the project is almost intriguing.

Creepy, inconsistent, uninteresting, and (perhaps most fatally) downright boring, the Cats movie isn’t even “so bad that it’s good”; it’s just plain awful.

Rating: 0 out of 5

- By Sameen Amer

Instep, The News on Sunday - 5th January, 2020 *

MMXIX - thank u, next

cover story

The rollercoaster ride that was 2019 saw humankind face many ups and down. 

We yearned for change but didn’t always know how to achieve it. We spoke against injustice, but it often felt like no one was listening. We tried to shoot for the stars but kept crash landing on the Moon. We witnessed the biggest entertainment events of all time but were almost invariably left disappointed. (Also, tomatoes were really expensive, y’all.)

As the Sun sets on the year, here’s a look back at the highs and lows the world experienced in the last 365 days …

January

- Lunar probes: Our continued attempts to turn our Solar System into a junkyard were focused this year on our very own natural satellite. While China’s successful Chang’e 4 did fulfil its mission of becoming the first human-made object to land on the far side of the Moon (January), Israel’s Beresheet (April) and India’s Chandrayaan-2 (September) were much less fortune; the landers of both were destroyed upon impact on the Lunar surface.

- Bezos’ divorce: The world’s richest man became slightly less rich after the most expensive divorce ever. Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and his wife MacKenzie parted ways, ending a marriage that lasted a quarter of a century. Jeff kept 75% of the couple’s Amazon stock, while MacKenzie got 25% of the stock (and, we presume, a lifetime membership of Prime) worth $35.6 billion, making her the third richest woman in the world.

No word yet on who got custody of Alexa.

February

- India-Pakistan tension: (Violators of human rights) India and (makers of fantastic tea) Pakistan came to the brink of war in February. A few days after an attack in Pulwama killed 40 Indian security personnel, India conducted airstrikes – marking the first time that warplanes of either country crossed the Line of Control since the 1971 Indo-Pak war – targeting purported militant camps in Balakot and killing hundreds of imaginary, invisible terrorists. Pakistan retaliated the following day, shot down an actual, real Indian plane, arrested its tea-aficionado pilot, then released him two days after he was captured.

Later in the year (August), India raised concerns after revoking the special status of Jammu and Kashmir and cutting off communication lines in the Kashmir Valley; the plight of the Kashmiris still remains troubling. Pakistan, on the other hand, established the Kartarpur Corridor (October) allowing Indian Sikh pilgrims to easily visit religious locations across the border.

March

- Ethiopia plane crash: Tragedy struck when an aircraft bound for Nairobi crashed shortly after takeoff from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, killing all 157 people on board in the deadliest aviation accident of 2019.

Earlier in the year (January), Argentine footballer Emiliano Sala died in a light aircraft crash in the English Channel.

- Christchurch shootings: The evil of violence inspired by intolerance reared its ugly head several times in 2019.

In the deadliest mass shootings in modern New Zealand history, a white supremacist gunman killed 51 people and injured 49 in attacks at a mosque and Islamic centre while live-streaming the incident on Facebook.

Weeks later, a series of coordinated suicide bombings at eight locations – three churches, three luxury hotels, and later a housing complex and a guest house – in Sri Lanka on Easter left 259 people dead and over 500 injured (April).

- Billie Eilish’s success: 2019 saw the meteoric rise of 17-year-old American singer (and #1 Justin Bieber fan) Billie Eilish. She became pop’s biggest newcomer when she took out her Invisalign and released When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, an album she made with her brother, Finneas O'Connell, in the latter’s bedroom. Led by the inescapable hit ‘bad guy’ (duh!), her debut ended up becoming the most successful album of the year.

2019 also brought fame to Scottish singer Lewis Capaldi, who ruled the year with his debut set, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent. 

Elsewhere, Lil Nas X ruffled country music feathers with the year’s biggest hit ‘Old Town Road’, Tones and I shone with ‘Dance Monkey’, while Lizzo was 100% that b****. And purveyor of premier beigness Ed Sheeran wrapped up his ÷ Tour which became the highest-grossing and most attended concert tour in history.

April

- Avengers: Endgame release: 2019 was the year of endings. Bad endings. 

After 11 years and 22 films, Marvel’s Infinity Saga culminated in Endgame, the biggest cinematic event that has ever befallen humankind. The film (very, very unsurprisingly) became the highest grossing movie of all time, making nearly $2.8 billion worldwide, and was visually stunning, emotionally exhausting, exhilaratingly tense, and also infuriatingly convoluted and utterly confusing.

But The Rise of Skywalker, the final instalment in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, fared much worse and downright infuriated fans of the franchise (although they were blessed with Baby Yoda earlier this year, so that’s something at least). The final season of the television series Game of Thrones also received ire and saw critical reception plummet with some of the worst-reviewed episodes of the entire series.

2019 was also the year of Disney remakes. Bad Disney remakes.

Dumbo, Aladdin, The Lion King, Lady and the Tramp ...

Uninspired. Hollow. Soulless. Unnecessary. And immensely successful, because us viewers, we’re clearly a bunch of idiots.

- Julian Assange arrest: Cyber activist/Russian stooge/hero journalist/anarchist villain/general pain in America’s behind, Julian Assange was evicted from the Ecuadorian embassy. After nearly seven years of giving him asylum, Ecuador rescinded their protection of the Wikileaks founder, who was then arrested in London and indicted for computer-related crimes and espionage. He now faces possible extradition to the US – where whistleblower Chelsea Manning has also been jailed since May for refusing to testify regarding Wikileaks – and is reportedly in ill health.

May

- UK political turmoil: The never-ending story known as Brexit continued to cause a political kerfuffle in Britain. Theresa May’s resignation led to Boris Johnson’s rise to power, and the country’s third general election in less than five years (December). 

Johnson also got the chance to meet Donald Trump at the G7 Summit (August) where the two leaders supposedly traded notes on hair care.

Also, lots of couples had children. All were equally precious. None of them were more important based on their lineage. Because this is the 21st century.

- Tarder Sauce death: It wasn’t a good year to be a famous cat. The Internet became a sadder place when beloved meme generator Tarder Sauce, a.k.a. Grumpy Cat, died in May, just a month after the death of popular litle creacher Peepee the Cat. A few days later, Pet Sematary star Leo died, only weeks after the release of the film. And famous feline Lil Bub also crossed over the rainbow bridge later in the year (December).

Maru, we’re guessing, spent the year bubble-wrapped in a sterilized room with padded walls.

June

- Politician arrests: Pakistani politicians kept going in and out of prison. 

Asif Ali Zardari was among those arrested over corruption charges.

Altaf Hussain was arrested in London (July) over hate speech charges.

Later in the year (December), Pervez Musharraf was sentenced to death over treason charges.

Meanwhile, Nawaz Sharif was granted bail to pursue medical treatment.

- Hong Kong protests: 2019 was a very turbulent year for Hong Kong. The attempts to force a controversial extradition bill (March) – that raised concerns about China’s ability to arrest political dissents – sparked massive protests in Hong Kong that escalated over the months. By June, hundreds of thousands of people were demonstrating against the statute as well as the ensuing police misconduct. Even though the bill was eventually withdrawn, the protest movement continued for the rest of the year as the government’s approval ratings plunged. 

Protests also grabbed Sudan, where dictator Omar al-Bashir was removed from power (April) amidst unrest. A contentious new citizenship law meant to undermine Muslims also sparked large protests in India (December). Other regions where citizens took to the streets included Venezuela, Haiti, Algeria, Indonesia, Iraq, Ecuador, Catalonia, Chile, and Bolivia. And we also had an Azaadi March in Pakistan (October) to oust Imran Khan over alleged vote rigging and rising inflation; it achieved a whole lot of nothing.

July

- Cricket World Cup: England and Wales hosted the 2019 Cricket World Cup, the tournament that gave us the sporting moment of this – or frankly any – year in the form of the last over of the historic final, where New Zealand lost to their biggest foes: ridiculous ICC rules and poor umpiring. 

August

- Amazon wildfires: The ongoing widespread fires in the Amazon rainforest led to the loss of hundreds of thousands of hectares of forestation and caused international concern in August.

Also, beginning in August, Australia saw massive bushfires that burned millions of hectares. Rescued koala Lewis became a symbol of the devastating fires; his death broke many hearts, while the future of his species remained in danger.

Fire was also responsible for damage to the iconic Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris (April); the historic building sustained serious damage.

September

- Climate change protests: The environmental impact of human activities was a hot topic in 2019, although meaningful change remained elusive.

Extinction Rebellion spent the year using nonviolent civil disobedience to protest against climate breakdown and biodiversity loss. And Swedish teenager and climate activist Greta “How Dare You!” Thunberg – who found a way to skip school and become the envoy of all children everywhere – became the Shouter in Chief of the climate change movement because the most antagonizing, divisive person must be the face of all important issues, obviously.

October

- Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s death: Something very big happened in October when a very bad guy was killed. 

Another very bad guy promptly took his place. 

And business as usual.

November

- Air pollution: Airpocalypse struck the subcontinent as India and Pakistan continued their rivalry by competing for the most toxic air in the world. Pollution hit record levels across the border; Delhi ended up with the worst air of any major city in the world. But not to be outdone, Lahore took the title of the world’s most unbreathable city (Number one! Number one!) in November, with air quality several times worse than what is considered safe for humans and animals.

December

- Russia doping ban: The World Anti-Doping Agency slapped Russia with a four year ban from major international sporting events for doping offences. Head dope Vladimir Putin wasn’t best pleased.

- Trump impeachment: Extremely stable genius Donald Trump proved that he was the greatest stupidest of all presidents by getting impeached for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. Only the third president in U.S. history to be impeached, he now awaits a Senate trial while campaigning for re-election.

And so it went, 2019. Good old 2019. A year that knew it wanted something better but didn’t quite manage to get there.

Now on to the next one.

Happy New Year, everyone! Make it a good one.

- Sameen Amer

Us Magazine, The News International - 27th December, 2019 

In the picture: Knives Out and Charlie's Angels

movie reviews

Knives Out is a fun whodunnit; Charlie’s Angels is an unimaginative retread

Knives Out

Starring: Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Toni Collette, Lakeith Stanfield, Katherine Langford, Jaeden Martell, and Christopher Plummer.

Directed by: Rian Johnson

Tagline: Hell, any of them could have done it.

Rian Jonson pays homage to the classic murder mystery in the new film Knives Out, a riotous whodunnit that is built around a fairly standard plot but delivered with some subversion and much gusto.

Wealthy family patriarch Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer), who has amassed a fortune as a successful crime novelist, invites his dysfunctional family to his mansion for his 85th birthday party. The gathering includes Harlan’s realtor daughter Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis), her unfaithful husband Richard (Don Johnson), and their spoilt son Ransom (Chris Evans); son Walt (Michael Shannon), who runs his father’s lucrative publishing company, his wife Donna (Riki Lindhome, criminally underused), and their son Jacob (Jaeden Martell); and widowed lifestyle-guru daughter-in-law Joni (Toni Collette) and her college-student daughter Meg (Katharine Langford).

But when Harlan is found dead the next morning, his throat slit in an apparent suicide, a private detective, Benoit Blanc (a standout Daniel Craig, sporting an entertainingly bizarre Southern accent), is recruited anonymously by one of the family members to investigate.

As the sleuth tries to figure out what really transpired, the fractures start to surface and the truth is revealed about each of the trust fund kids who are either desperate to protect their inheritance or hiding a secret. Everyone, it turns out, is a suspect.

Upon discovering that Harlan’s nurse Marta (Ana De Armas) is incapable of lying since she has a “regurgitative reaction to mistruthing” (if you are sensitive to onscreen vomiting, then this is not the film for you!), Blanc asks her to assist in his investigation. 

Like Cluedo meets Columbo by way of Agatha Christie, Knives Out spends two hours trying to amusingly unravel its mystery.

The movie’s fantastic cast keeps you riveted to the proceedings (even when they require some suspension of disbelief); they are all fun to watch and terrific in their respective parts despite the fact that some of them aren’t always given the chance to properly shine. Rian Johnson assembles a stellar group of A-listers, then pretty much hands the movie to the relatively lesser-known Ana de Armas; it’s an odd (but clearly intentional) choice, and while it works since the actress is winsome in her star-making role, it also keeps the wheel of suspicion from spinning as teasingly as it could have.

Its sharp wit is one of the film’s strengths; there are some running jokes that work brilliantly while dissecting prejudice and privilege. Its setting, however, could have used some Wes Anderson-like charm. Also, while there are a few interesting twists and turns, its ultimate big reveal is a tad predictable, and what fools the villain at the end certainly won’t fool the audience.

All in all, Knives Out may not be a gamechanger, but this amusing, entertaining mystery is still a whole lot of fun

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

*****

Charlie’s Angels

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks, Djimon Hounsou, Sam Claflin, Noah Centineo, and Patrick Stewart

Directed by: Elizabeth Banks

Tagline: Sworn to secrecy. Bound by sisterhood.

Charlie’s Angels return to the big screen for a belated continuation of the film series with a new cast and a new director but the same old hackneyed action comedy beats and nary an inventive element in sight.

The Angels have now gone international, recruiting crime-fighting lady spies to take down criminals around the globe. “Bosley” is revealed to be a rank in the organization; as senior operative John Bosley (Patrick Stewart) retires, he is honoured at a party thrown by Rebekah Bosley (Elizabeth Banks), Edgar Bosley (Djimon Hounsou), and the rest of the gang.

When a threat emerges, two Angels – rebellious Sabina (Kristen Stewart) and former MI-6 agent Jane (Ella Balinska) – are put together to help Elena (Naomi Scott), an engineer who has worked on the Calisto project, creating a device that can provide clean, sustainable energy but due to a flaw can also be weaponised. Calisto has the potential to cause havoc, and it is up to the Angels to keep it out of the wrong hands. 

What should be an exciting thriller, soon turns into a fairly formulaic caper. It’s all very joyless and listless. There is nothing distinctive about Banks’ direction. The story is conventional. The action elements are subpar. The wit falls flat. 

The acting talent of the leads isn’t exactly stellar either. Stewart does stand out and delivers a somewhat entertaining performance, but the group just doesn’t connect like they should, and lacks the charisma or star power to draw in an audience. 

To make this revival work, the project would have needed a more distinctive storyline, inventive touches, sharp script, and a charming cast – elements that this movie simply does not possess. As it stands, Charlie’s Angels may offer the occasional moment of fun, but the film really doesn’t warrant a trip to the cinema. With a better script and cast and a more versatile director, the adventure could have been a lot more entertaining.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5

- By Sameen Amer

Instep, The News on Sunday - 15th December, 2019 *

Finding Jolly

cover story

In the fall of 2015, Kitty, the daughter of our lovely resident stray Fringe, made her way into my room, discovered an empty cat house, decided it now belonged to her, and promptly moved in.

On March 27, 2016, Kitty gave birth to two beautiful kids, Lucky and Jolly, who instantly became my trusty little sidekicks.

On October 29, 2019, Jolly disappeared without a trace.

*****

About a cat

Jolly is an energetic, playful cuddle monster and purr machine who also happens to be a fairly staunch misanthrope. She inherited Kitty’s distrust of humans, and, channeling her inner Sven, came to the conclusion that every one of ‘em’s bad, except, of course, me. “Instead of loving lots of humans a little bit each, I’ll love this one weird lady a whole lot,” she decided, and I reciprocated by raising her like a little child and turning her into a complete spoiled brat. As you do.

But I think nature sent her to me, in its infinite wisdom, because Jolly was going to need a bit of extra help to survive. When she was 1, Jolly started having coughing spells, and it soon became obvious that my fur baby had very severe feline asthma. She was coughing around 10 to 15 times a day, as many as 20 on really bad days, and not responding to any treatment. In August last year, she had two near-fatal asthma attacks, after which her vet, Dr. Faheem, put her on a twice-daily inhaler regimen which has helped immensely by healing her lungs and giving her the chance to return to her normal, impish self.

In part because of her illness, my asthmatic kitty has been raised as a strictly indoor cat (who occasionally manages to sneak out despite our best efforts), and, while she has access to the roof where she can soak up the sun and make amusingly futile attempts to terrorize birds, she is rarely allowed to go outside, much to her chagrin.

On October 29th, I made the mistake of giving in to her nagging and letting her out.

*****

Day 1

Jolly left the house at around 11:30am. I saw her at noon, sitting happily on the pillar next to our gate, adamantly refusing to come back inside. A few minutes later, she had simply vanished.

The fact that she rarely stays outside for more than an hour meant that all the red flags were soon very raised. A neighbour’s guard last saw her at 2pm, after which there was simply no sign or sighting of her.

When she wasn’t back by the evening, I did the most logical, practical, pragmatic, productive thing I could possibly do: I burst into tears.

By the time night rolled around, I was full-on Viola Davis-style crying. There was no sign of Jolly anywhere in the immediate vicinity, and I was certain I’d never see her again.

Day 2

By the next morning, Jolly’s disappearance had turned into a complete mystery.

Jolly is scared of pretty much everything - humans, loud noises, big vehicles, her own shadow - and she isn’t accustomed to surviving out on her own. She was definitely in trouble, but what kind, we weren’t sure.

It was a case fit for a Hercule Poirot investigation. But since I couldn’t hire Poirot, seeing how he isn’t real, I thought I’d do the next best thing and search for her myself. Even if something had happened to her, someone somewhere must have seen her at some point.

Just as I was about to start my sleuthing, the lovely Sun entered my life like the beam of light she truly is. A devoted pet parent to an adorable Yorkshire Terrier, she saw a fellow animal lover in anguish and offered to help me look for my fur child. And so I temporarily paused my crying, and we set off, Sun and I, to find my missing four-legged friend, ringing every doorbell, asking everyone if they’d seen Jolly, shoving a photo of her into their unsuspecting faces.

And to my absolute surprise, it turned out that most of the people we came across were … really nice. Shocking, I know! Humans and nice! Who’da thunk!

Some showed concern and said they’d keep an eye out for her; some invited us to search in their yards. There were, however, a few who were just uninterested, and only one lady who seemed to genuinely rue our very existence, but as Sun pointed out, her lack of hospitality was her problem, not ours.

Hours of searching later, while my faith in humanity had been thoroughly restored, my cat’s whereabouts were still a mystery.

My mom and dad were concerned Jolly might have stowed away in someone’s car. My friend Hazel thought Jolly must be locked in a nearby detached or spare room. My Aussie sister Anny was convinced Jolly had been abducted by aliens, which, at this point, seemed like the most plausible explanation for her disappearance.

It would eventually turn out that Hazel’s guess was the closest. Jolly wasn’t locked in a room, but she was, indeed, stuck.

Day 3

Several of my astoundingly kind neighbours were looking for my cat at this point. And true to their word, the wonderful individuals who had shown concern for her the previous day did indeed keep an eye out for her. A number of times people showed up at our house thinking they’d found her, but they had invariably spotted some other kitty (who would most often turn out to be Button, one of my strays).

It was early evening when our neighbour’s driver, the same person who had last seen her nearly two days ago (and who is clearly the MVP of this story), came to our place and said he had found Jolly. I was sure this was going to be yet another Button sighting, but then he said the words “fan” and “stuck” and “definitely your cat”. 

OMG.

OMG. OMG. OMG.

Two doors down, crammed into a small space behind an exhaust fan around two storeys high, I saw a scared, starving, dehydrated feline - my Jolly. The family who lived in a hut in the mostly empty plot next door (and who were well aware that a cat was missing in the area) had known about her whereabouts since the day before and had done nothing to help her.

Now look … *steps on a soapbox* when you see an animal in trouble, here’s what you should do: something. Here’s what you should definitely not do: nothing. If Spider-Man has taught us one thing (and he clearly hasn’t, as you can see), it’s that with great power comes great responsibility. You know those opposable thumbs that we’ve been blessed with? They come with the responsibility to help those who haven’t had our evolutionary luck. If we see a creature in distress, we’re meant to help, not stand by and watch it slowly die like some kind of psychopaths. *steps off the soapbox*

So, anyway, my silly imp had managed to get herself stuck while exploring the neighbourhood. She couldn’t jump down; she doesn’t do heights. She couldn’t go back up; again that was a whole storey high. She had spent two days cooped up in a small hole with no food, water, or asthma medication, and had endured the sun during the day and the cold during the night. It’s a miracle she was still alive.

My amazing neighbours - mostly people I had never even met before - quickly sprung to action and brought ladders and poles and came up with rescue schemes that were never going to work and were immediately vetoed by yours truly. Our best bet was to convince the resident of the house to remove the exhaust fan, which, after some prodding, he did. 

But when she noticed that someone was tinkering with the fan and saw the number of people who had gathered outside, my little girl completely freaked out. Turns out, there is one thing she’s more scared of than death: humans. 

She jumped. (Gasp!)

Thankfully she landed safely (whew!), then ran straight for home, beelining for her water bowl as soon as she got in, after which she pretty much collapsed on the bed. With the ordeal her body had been through, it would take her weeks to be able to eat properly, and a whole month to fully recover.

*****

And that is how a group of totally random people came together to help me find my missing cat and reaffirm my faith in humanity along the way. I did not think anyone would care about my lost pet, and I could never have imagined so many strangers would be willing to offer a helping hand. 

Where I expected indifference, I found kindness. When I thought there was no hope, I found support. 

People still ask how Jolly is doing. Just the other day, a neighbour inquired if I found my cat and then wanted to know all the details of her rescue. Maria and Sahil, the kids who very enthusiastically helped look for her, now wave to me whenever they see me. Sun even brought lots of presents for Jolly and is glad that my furry friend and I have been reunited.

As for Jolly herself, she is obviously grounded for life now, although I’m not sure she knows that, seeing how she keeps sneaking out of the house all the time anyway. Could someone please convince her that she’s meant to be an indoor cat? Because I really don’t need another practical demonstration of the goodness of humanity!

- Sameen Amer

Us Magazine, The News International - 13th December, 2019

In the picture: Frozen II and Klaus

movie reviews

Frozen II is visually stunning but narratively muddled; Klaus is heartwarming albeit fairly predictable

Frozen II

Starring (voices): Idina Menzel, Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Jonathan Groff

Directed by: Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee

The ever-growing list of unnecessary Disney sequels gets a little longer with the release of Frozen II, the follow-up to the studio’s 2013 musical megahit that fails to recapture the magic of its predecessor.

The film takes us back to Arendelle where Queen Elsa (voiced by Idina Menzel), her sister Princess Anna (Kristen Bell), their sentient snowman Olaf (Josh Gad), Anna’s boyfriend Kristoff (Jonathan Groff), and Kristoff’s reindeer Sven are about to embark on another adventure.

A mysterious voice starts calling out to Elsa, who then ends up awakening the magical spirits of an enchanted forest her parents had warned her about, thereby putting Arendelle in danger. The past, it turns out, is not what it seems; a wrong demands to be righted, and it is up to the sisters and their companions to venture into the forest, find the origin of the mysterious voice as well as Elsa’s magical powers, and save their kingdom.

The journey, which doesn’t seem particularly inspired to begin with, soon turns into a convoluted mess. 

On the plus side, Frozen II is visually beautiful. There are moment of mirth - mostly provided by Olaf - that work well; the snowman’s summary of the previous film is perhaps this installment’s highlight. And there are some interesting themes embedded in the story about embracing change and doing the right thing.

But the storyline overall feels forced and clunky. Pacing issues plague the adventure throughout; some parts drag on while others feel rushed. The emotional impact is diminished by what is perhaps the film’s biggest flaw: its inability to fully embrace its darkness and deliver the consequences the tale requires.

The soundtrack, too, isn’t as strong this time around. Although the songs have, once again, been crafted competently - and you really can’t expect anything less from the very talented Robert Lopez and his wife Kristen Anderson-Lopez - the tunes just aren’t as memorable. With tracks like ‘Into the Unknown’, the songwriters seem to be trying to come up with another showstopper in the vein of ‘Let It Go’ by following the same musical formula that brought them success previously, and that ends up making the results less special. Somehow the film’s catchiest song is ‘Lost in the Woods’, an amusing ‘80s-inspired power ballad (sung by Kristoff, a character the movie has no idea what to do with) that couldn’t care less about the fact that it is completely at odds with the vibe of the rest of the film and sounds so much like Chicago that Peter Cetara and co. practically deserve royalties for it.

On the whole, Frozen II doesn’t leave you with the sense that it was created because Disney had an essential, interesting tale to tell. Instead, a story seems to have been forced together to make a sequel that didn’t necessarily need to exist. It has some enjoyable moments, but this sequel ultimately pales in comparison to the original. 

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

*****

Klaus

Starring (voices): Jason Schwartzman, J. K. Simmons, Rashida Jones, Joan Cusack, Will Sasso, and Norm Macdonald

Directed by: Sergio Pablos

Tagline: Welcome to the jingle.

Santa Claus gets a fictional origin story in Klaus, a lovely animated comedy that delivers the message of kindness while spreading some Christmas joy.

The film revolves around the spoiled and lazy Jesper (voiced by Jason Schwartzman) who comes from a wealthy family and has no ambition or work ethic. To teach him a lesson, his father sends him to the frozen town of Smeerensburg where he must work as a postman and process 6000 letters in a year or else he will be cut off from the family fortune.

Delivered to a cold, distant island by a snarky boatman (Norm McDonald), Jesper quickly ends up in the crosshairs of the feuding locals and discovers that the town is divided into two warring factions that are at each other’s throats. Desperate to fulfil his mission so that he can leave the gloomy town, Jesper convinces a woodsman named Klaus (J. K. Simmons) to donate the toys he has made to children who will ask him for the gifts through letters, and enlists a teacher named Alva (Rashida Jones) to help the kids learn to write. His scheme begins to work, but the effects of his plan inspire consequences that he did not anticipate.

Its overall storyline may be fairly predictable, but the tale is brought to life with such heartwarming spirit and offbeat style - like The Emperor’s New Groove meets Tim Burton for Christmas - that it’s impossible to resist the film’s charm. The movie’s strengths include its artistic direction, terrific animation, well-suited voice performances, and an entertaining script. 

Where Klaus majorly falters, though, is in pairing its unique vibe with the generic pop monstrosity ‘Invisible’, a grating misstep that takes you out of an otherwise charming viewing experience when it needlessly appears in the film. It almost feels like the filmmakers were forced to add a commercial element to a movie that didn’t need such tonal dissonance.

Still, Klaus succeeds in creating a lovely Christmas episode about kindness and generosity. Sure you know where the story is going, but the journey is delightful nonetheless.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

- By Sameen Amer

Instep, The News on Sunday - 8th December, 2019 *

In the picture: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil and The King

movie reviews

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil fails to enchant; The King lacks memorability

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sam Riley, Ed Skrein, and Michelle Pfeiffer

Directed by: Joachim Rønning

After a four year absence from the screen, Angeline Jolie resumes her acting career by reprising the titular role in the Maleficent sequel Mistress of Evil, the continuation of the Sleeping Beauty offshoot that tries to present the original fairy tale’s antagonist in a more complex, sympathetic light.

(The cloyingly saccharine) Aurora (Elle Fanning) is now queen of the Moors, the enchanted enclave inhabited by magic folk, while Maleficent is the woodland’s guardian. After Prince Phillip (Harris Dickinson) proposes to the formerly sleeping beauty, a very disapproving Maleficent reluctantly agrees to accompany her goddaughter to a dinner hosted by her future in-laws, kind King John (Robert Lindsay) and scheming Queen Ingrith (Michelle Pfeiffer). Tempers predictably flare, leading to a rift between Aurora and Maleficent; the latter’s departure unexpectedly leads her to discovering her heritage as one of the last Dark Fae, a powerful race forced into hiding due to human oppression. 

As war looms, the fate of the lands and its inhabitants lay at stake. But even at the most (seemingly) crucial of turns, there is an odd absence of suspense. The repercussions of what should be significant developments – including battle and bloodshed – seem lost on the film’s writers. The fantasy’s building blocks are all fairly standard and formulaic; the drama is oddly vacant. Potentially interesting ideas are thrown into the storyline but then not fully developed; the Dark Fae arc, for instance, raises more questions than it answers. 

The writing and character building are the movie’s main weaknesses. Fanning’s Aurora is beautiful but dull, and utterly unconvincing as a queen. The Three Good Fairies are downright grating. 

Pfeiffer’s Queen Ingrid is a caricature of an evil queen who seems to have been created simply to make the titular protagonist seem noble in comparison. Jolie’s Maleficent is often sidelined in her own movie. The actresses’ performances, though, are the film’s highlights. Jolie shines in her first live-action role since 2015 (she did lend her voice to Tigress in the third Kung Fu Panda adventure in 2016, but has not been in front of the camera since By The Sea), and it’s to Pfeiffer’s credit that her one-dimensional character seems marginally intriguing.

Disney’s fairy tale revisits, retellings, and reimaginings may be financially rewarding for the company, but they hardly deliver a rewarding cinematic experience to the audience. And while Maleficent: Mistress of Evil may be a very slight step up from Disney’s recent slew of abysmal remakes, it’s far from the studio’s best work.

Rating: 2 out of 5

*****

The King

Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Joel Edgerton, Sean Harris, Robert Pattinson, Lily-Rose Depp, and Ben Mendelsohn

Directed by: David Michôd

Tagline: All hail.

David Michôd tells the story of King Henry V by way of William Shakespeare’s Henriad plays in The King, a historical drama loosely based on the life of the 15th century British monarch.

We meet Hal (Timothée Chalamet), the eldest son of King Henry IV (Ben Mendelsohn), when he is a wayward prince, disillusioned by his father’s reign and opposed to his war policies. Although uninterested in succeeding his father, Hal is nonetheless forced by circumstances to ascend the throne and thereby get his act together.

Despite his intentions to establish peace in the region, Hal decides to declare war on France after being provoked by Louis (Robert Pattinson), son of French King Charles VI (Thibault de Montalembert), and advised to retaliate by his aides.

He recruits his trusted old friend Falstaff (Joel Edgerton) as his captain, commanding his forces to battle. The ensuing drama and skirmishes, though competently executed and generally well-acted, aren’t as engrossing as one would have hoped. The film goes about its business at a leisurely pace, portraying Hal’s journey from an irresponsible youth to a fierce leader and warrior. But even though it spends 2 hour and 20 minute primarily focused on its protagonist, The King doesn’t handle Hal’s character development with much deft and the actual personality of the new king largely remains evasive.

Chalamet, though, is very impressive in the lead role, and his brooding presence conveys the weight on the ruler’s shoulders. Pattinson, too, gives a standout performance as the Dauphin, even though he appears in only a handful of scenes, and also gets some of the most memorable lines in the script.

But the film leaves some of its supporting players – like Lily-Rose Depp’s Catherine, who wanders into the story in the last half hour of the movie – underdeveloped, and neither gives them enough screen time nor the chance to really establish their presence in the tale. 

Ultimately, The King possesses a few intriguing elements, but it just isn’t as interesting or powerful as you’d expect. It fails to really stand out or leave a mark and doesn’t quite deliver the emotional impact it could have had. 

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

- By Sameen Amer

Instep, The News on Sunday - 24th November, 2019 *