Music in 2006 - a summary

music roundup

- Everyone went crazy over Gnarls Barkley’s song 'Crazy', making it the first single ever to top the UK charts on download sales alone. The single was subsequently pulled from UK stores by the band and their record label in May after nine consecutive weeks at number one, so that people would 'remember the song fondly and not get sick of it’.

- People did, however, get sick of James Blunt, so much so that Essex FM announced that it had banned all his songs from being played after listeners said they were 'fed up with them’.

- Justin Hawkins left The Darkness. If you’ve heard 'One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back', you’ll agree that this was a sensible thing to do.

- Panic! At The Disco released singles, some of which had mindbogglingly long titles.

- Many of us were extremely surprised when Mary J Blige won 9 Billboard music awards. We know she’s amazing and all, and we could’ve made peace with something like 7 or 8 awards, but 9??

- Most of us were somewhat surprised to see U2 and Green Day do a single together, but only because we couldn’t figure out why no one had come up with this idea earlier!

- And absolutely none of us were even slightly surprised when Britney Spears filed divorce papers and ended her two-year marriage to Kevin Federline, who released an album that no one bothered to buy.

- My Chemical Romance started looking a lot like The Smashing Pumpkins, started sounding a lot like Green Day, and started making music that was inspired by Pink Floyd and Queen. The results were surprisingly good.

- The Pipettes released a really nice pop record that everyone failed to notice.

- Fergie released some singles that were totally, utterly and completely irritating. Needless to say they sold a gazillion copies and topped charts everywhere.

- And just when we thought that nothing could possibly be more irritating than Fergie, Gwen Stefani proved us wrong by releasing 'Wind It Up'.

- Ok Go were completely ignored by everyone everywhere till they released the clips for 'A Million Ways' and 'Here It Goes Again', which can be summed up as brilliantness in video format.

- Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, The Killers, Robbie Williams, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Pink, Christina Aguilera, and lots of other artists released albums.

- Guns N’ Roses’ did not release an album. This shouldn’t even count as news anymore.

- Paris Hilton released an album that she said was so good that it made her cry. It made the rest of us cry for a completely different reason, and apparently even led The Guardian (a British Newspaper) to comment: "She sings like a woman who has heard of something called singing, can’t be sure of exactly what it might entail, but is fairly certain you do something a bit like this."

- Madonna adopted a Malawian baby boy, and people didn’t seem to like that very much.

- Not many people had heard of Nerina Pallot before 2006. Not many people have heard of Nerina Pallot after 2006.

- Take That reunited and that pleased us old-timers by bringing back lots of memories of the 1990s.

- All Saints reunited and that didn’t really please anyone.

- Kanye West made no secret of the fact that he thought his video 'Touch the Sky' should’ve won the 'Best Video’ award at the MTV Europe Music Awards. He went onto the stage as the award was being presented to Justice and Simian for 'We Are Your Friends', argued that he should have won instead...and was later sued by Robert 'Evel’ Knievel for trademark infringement in the 'Touch the Sky' video.

- Music show Top of the Pops ended after 42 years on British television.

- Italy lifted the 2006 FIFA World Cup. The Italians celebrated by singing 'Seven Nation Army'; the White Stripes’ song (originally released in 2003) reentered the Italian singles chart at the third spot. Zinedine Zidane headbutted Marco Materazzi. Sebastien and Emmanuel Lipszyc made a song about it. The song topped the charts in France.

- Lily Allen expressed her 'opinions’ about other musicians. Other musicians didn’t like that too much.

- Muse continued to be their amazing self by making another amazing album that everyone loved.

- Tool continued to be their generally boring self by making another generally boring album that everyone loved.

- Pamela Anderson married Kid Rock. Pamela Anderson divorced Kid Rock.

- 'Rockstar: Supernova' proved that Tommy Lee wasn’t nearly as cool as we’d thought.

- Some American Idol contestants released singles and albums and stuff. Most of it was quite rubbish.

- Carrie Underwood won awards. Faith Hill got it right when she mouthed the word "WHAT?!!" at the CMAs when Carrie won for 'Female Vocalist of the Year'. But she says she did it as a joke. We do the exact same thing every time we see Carrie win something. We don’t do it as a joke.

- Artists including Shakira, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake released songs that became insanely popular.

- Aaaaand a lot more happened during the year, but we seem to have run out of space (actually, we ran out of space some 200 words ago), so I will now bid you all farewell with the wish that you guys have a very happy and blessed new year! Ciao!

- By Sameen Amer

Us Magazine, The News - 5th January 2007